I know, it’s been awhile. Uhmmm… Yes, I know that I kept on saying that after a long absence online. 🙂 I am still actually online most of the time (during my day job) but I don’t update much lately on my blogs and social accounts (FB, Twitter). I am busy helping out DH on his small business (eatery) in the morning before I go to the office and after work.
Lately, I have been slacking at work. I am becoming unproductive and lost the drive and will to perform well. A few weeks ago, I lost a bank account passbook, I couldn’t even remember how it it happened, all I could think of is that it slipped off my hand. I had to pay for the replacement and it cost a half of a day’s work 🙁
I keep on forgetting things and would often rush out whenever I prepare to work every morning. Just the other day, I almost bumped my face into the glass wall of the bank because I am going the wrong direction, even though the guard was already opening the door for me. My mind’s wandering somewhere else.
I am no longer happy. I know I have said that many times too! They said that if you are no longer happy with work, just quit! But how can I quit if this is the only thing that helps me now to make ends meet especially that we are in trying times now. I know I should be thankful and grateful for I still have a job. Honestly, I am! But the compensation I am getting is no longer enough for my family’s need. My job application to different companies didn’t turn out well, expenses and bills to pay are piling up already. I don’t really know what to do anymore. I am having a hard time handling our situation now.
I am pressed with time because in three week’s time, school is about to start for the kids and we are not yet done with the tuition fee dues from the previous school year. We tried to ask for help but we were turned down.
What added to my frustration is the slowdown of online work and the drop of my online earnings. This is actually my main source of income because I earn well from my blogs more than my salary from my day job. Most of the advertisers and paid blogging companies that I am working for were hit by Google and most of us (bloggers) were hit and affected too.
I don’t know how to get out from this situation so I am lifting this all up to God. There are times that I question him as I don’t know how and what to say in my prayers anymore for him to hear and answer it. Only to be humbled upon realizing all the miracles he has done for me, because I know we are still blessed in so many ways. That I am just blinded with emotions and fears. I’l get through this. I will and I can. So please help me God!