Category Archives: thoughts

Hello Blog!

I know, it’s been awhile. Uhmmm… Yes, I know that I kept on saying that after a long absence online. 🙂  I am still actually online most of the time (during my day job) but  I don’t update much lately on my blogs and social accounts (FB, Twitter). I am busy helping out DH on his small business (eatery) in the morning before I go to the office and after work.

Lately, I have been slacking at work. I am becoming unproductive and lost the drive and will to perform well. A few weeks ago, I lost a bank account passbook,  I couldn’t even remember how it it happened, all I could think of is that it slipped off my hand. I had to pay for the replacement and it cost a half of a day’s work 🙁

I keep on forgetting things  and would often rush out whenever I prepare to work every morning.  Just the other day, I almost bumped  my face into the glass wall of the bank because  I am going the wrong direction, even though the guard was already opening the door for me. My mind’s wandering somewhere else.

I am no longer happy.  I know I have said that  many times too! They said that if you are no longer happy with work, just quit! But how can I quit if this is the only thing that helps me now to make ends meet especially that we are in trying times now.  I know I should be thankful and grateful for I still have a job. Honestly, I am! But the compensation I am getting is no longer enough for my family’s need. My job application to different companies didn’t turn out well, expenses and bills to pay are piling up already. I don’t really know what to do anymore. I am having a hard time handling our situation now.

I am pressed with time because in three week’s time, school is about to start for the kids and we are not yet done with the tuition fee dues from the previous school year. We tried to ask for help but we were turned down.

What added to my frustration is the slowdown of online work and the drop of my online earnings. This is actually my main source of income because I earn well from my blogs more than my salary from my day job. Most of the advertisers and paid blogging companies that I am working for were hit by Google and most of us (bloggers) were hit and affected too.

I don’t know how to get out from this situation so I  am lifting this all up to  God. There are times that I question him as I don’t know how and what to say  in my prayers anymore for him to hear and answer it. Only to be humbled upon realizing all the miracles he has done for me, because I know we are still blessed in so many ways. That I am just blinded with emotions and fears. I’l get through this. I will and I  can. So please help me God!

Dreamed Of My Father

My mind was pre-occupied with so many thoughts and ideas about things that I really wanted to do  the past few weeks and really needs an ample time for some decision making. Things aren’t working out well again for our family’s finances.

The kids’ educational expenses need to be cleared out very soon as they approach their 3rd Trimester examinations the first week of March, so I am really hoping against hope and is  really praying hard that we may be able to surpass this not so new financial struggle that we are currently facing. I believe in God’s divine providence. He did  prove it to me in so many ways already.

Also, I am praying hard for another job opportunity that I am trying to take my chances in. I am really crossing my fingers for a positive result this week. Moving on, that’s what I really need to do with my current work. I’ve been here for about seven years and I am grateful for all the help and things that I have learned from this job. But I think it’s time for me to find another one. A new working environment and a salary that would at least suffice for our daily expenses.

Last night,  I dreamed of my father. He brought me “Laing”, an indigenous food in Bicol that my parents sell at the market and have been the source of income for the family. He said ” Oh, eto na yung Laing mo” in a filled big kaldero that we used for our paninda. I said ” ang “bilis mo ah” but I couldn’t remember anymore his response. All I could remember is seeing his face, the one during his good younger years. Then I was looking at him as he walked away, trying to remember his face. I don’t know what it means, maybe because  miss him. 🙁

I felt good when I woke up. I miss my Tatay, the good old days that we had as a father and daughter, how he used to be my art projects maker during my Elementary and High school days. Also, he’s the one whom I bug whenever I want to have a new haircut! haha! He does the “siete” cut on me when I was in grade five. LOL! he would trim my hair whenever I feel like it.

” We miss you Tatay! I know that you are still praying a looking down on us for guidance” I hope that you are as happy as I saw you in my dreams!

Christmas Blues

It’s exactly eleven days before Christmas, holiday mood sets in for many, except me perhaps?! I just couldn’t feel the same exciting and happy mood just like the good old days. Not that I am being negative, I just came to realize  that this Christmas will be a different one in terms of many things. First thing, we are broke- financially!

A sad thing that I don’t want to hide, not that I am ashamed of it and not proud of it either- just accepting the fact that we are in this situation. We are working on it, to make ends meet in a positive way. 

Hopeful and thankful. That’s how I still feel despite all the challenges we are facing right now. Hoping and keeping my faith that all things will be ok in the end. As I always say whenever I am at the verge of losing hope and patience, “this too shall pass” . Things may not turn out the way I really wanted it to be, but things aren’t worst enough to break and tear us down either. Thankful that we are ok health wise, one great wealth that we consider to have still. Though Ian and I were feeling sickly lately, the kids are in the pink of health, except for the common sickness- coughs and cold.

Positive. When all things seems dreary, it’s hard to look at the brighter side. But in the end, I should fight off the lowliness. People around me needs me, my family. I need to be strong for them. I know that a glimpse of positivity sparks a great chance of good things bound to happen.

I saw this while browsing from my FB newsfeed, this is from Pope Francis  FB Page

Stop weeping! Don’t give room to sorrow! Don’t let the enemy break your spirit. The enemy can take everything away from you but he can’t take your joy, the joy of the LORD will forever be your strength. Let me assure you tomorrow will be all right.
Glory Be To God

Never lose hope, always. 🙂

Hope and Prayer

I was asked to go straight to our accountant’s office first thing in the morning last Friday before heading straight to the office to submit some documents. Their office building is just right in front of the Sta. Cruz church.

So I did grab the chance to pass by and lighted  candles before heading to the office.

hope and prayer

It has been ten long years since I pass by the church. I remember I was really so down and low when I last went there. It felt good and light after praying to say thank you and asked for HIS guidance.

Two lighted candle for HOPE and GRATITUDE.

Hope. For my myself, family, relatives, work, friends. For good health and finances. For protection and keeping us always safe and away from harm.

Gratitude. For all the blessings that God has bestowed upon me, my family, relatives, work (online and offline) and friends. For always saving me especially those times I feel being alone and lonely and constantly reminding me that HE is always right beside me come what may.

“The POWER OF PRAYER” …. Believe!

20th Of January

Time flies indeed! It just seems yesterday when I’m all busy with finishing my pending tasks and so looking forward to the holiday break. Now we’re all back to the grind on the regular schedule.

What seems new for my January? nothing much for my daily job, still the same daily routine on out of the office errand (Although I have new way when going to our accountant. Ahaha!), clerical stuffs, etc.

Still the same morning routine; waking up early to check on emails, prepare my and the little girl’s things for school and office, send her to school and I spending a little more time to eat and watch morning news.

But, I am more high in spirit and more positive now 🙂 I aim to complain less and tend to look at the brighter side when faced with challenges.

High hopes and Keeping the Faith still all through out the year!

So Thankful!

Been like a worry rat since last week, the bills are piling up and expenses on the list are overflowing. I am almost on the losing thread thinking where to get the funds to accommodate payments for those things! But I am so glad that after a week of trying my luck out from applying  to different DA’s.  Only one answered and gave an upfront payment! Not that big, but just enough to fill the missing amount that I’ve been long saving up.

Just this morning, an online advert renewed his ads on my site. So the large amount of expenses on the list have been slashed off already. *big sigh. Online tasks are starting to flow again. Hope everything turns out well so that we can catch up again with our online gigs.