Category Archives: Feelings

Don’t Give Up

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Good things come to those who Believe,
Better things come to those who are Patient and
the best Things come
to  those who
Don’t Give up

There, nailed it!  I have been low for the past weeks. I believe, it is now to move on and dust off the negativity that has been long nurturing inside of me. I can never be like this for the next couple of days or worst for the rest of my life.

I need to act, move and make things happen!

Things are now falling into place. all I need is TRUST myself, people around me and above all, trust and believe that things will work out well in the end.

I might be in a story weather now, but it can’t rain all the time.

 

Unproductive Weekend

It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail.

– Lech Walesca

I wasn’t able to do anything with any of my online tasks over the weekend. My mind is filled with doubts and frustration thinking on how to solve a problem with no result of a action up until this moment. I am only given nine days left to finally resolve everything and I can start on a clean slate again.

I really wanted to grab that opportunity for my peace of mind. But what can I do if I am left alone with dealing with all of these things. I tried to reach out only to be disappointed with the response. I am actually used to nursing this kind of sadness, but this one’s different because I feel so alone.

On the bright side, I am still hopeful that I would be able to pull this through with my strong faith in God. That I will be guided and do things according to his will. For now, I just want to vent out this negative emotions.

Pardon the negativity on a Monday 🙂 May we all be filled with blessings a great week ahead of us!

Low, Down and Up!

What was the point in crying when there was no one to comfort you? And what was worse, when you couldn’t even comfort yourself?

-Cassandra Claire, City of Glass

I am not really feeling well the past days, the very hot weather I guess is one of the contributing factors in making me feel so low and irritable. All things got screwed up that I just wanted to give up and just disappear amidst everything. I am really at the verge of losing my senses. But hey, here I am! Still alive and kicking! 😀

Thanks to people who somehow helped me realized that all these things happen and I just have to fight and keep going. A little hi, hello! How are you doing?! really makes me feel that I am not alone 🙂 Prayers, hugs and kisses from my family are really helpful things that comfort me, it somehow lighten up the heavy heart I’m carrying.

Let Go

Letting go of our suffering is the hardest work we will ever do. It is also the most fruitful. To heal means to meet ourselves in a new way – in the newness of each moment where all is possible and nothing is limited to the old.

– Stephen Levine

It’s time for me to move on. There’s really no way but out. I need to be strong. I will…

Mixed Emotions

I don’t know how to put words on how I really feel from the past days err months I suppose. Been having this feeling of lowliness at one time then ok and full of hopes and positivity the next . But one thing that keeps still is a lot of questions in between, no matter how I try to find a rational answers to those, some things just won’t give keep me sane.

Now I wonder if this is what they call, “midlife crisis”? I think I am too young for that. lol! But seriously, things are really getting into me lately and I feel that I have been caught up in between of everything- the family, work, finances and health and the latest to affect me is this occasional twinge on my lower abdomen and pelvic pain like those symptoms of a dysmenorrhea minus the period.

Now I hope that I would be able to save up for that medical check-up, knock up more positivity and senses to my brain! I need to get going, be able to rise above from all of these because some people depends on me a lot, just the way I depend on them for a lot of things too!

That all being said… I feel more better now!

 

I Am So Back!

I know, it has been weeks of silence here. Too many things have caught me offline. Some things I would not go into details anymore because it is really heart breaking and must be left unsaid. All I could say is that I’ve been to my lowest again. I was able to function being “normal” despite the hardest ordeal that I’ve been through, or I must say “we”.

Confusion. I was at the verge of giving things up without any prior thinking of what would be the outcome of my decision. I just want to get out of the situation. I am tired. bored. restless… Heading to nowhere.

Sick. More than being physically exhausted, I just couldn’t think straight and arrive at a wise decision.

Scared. To death that is. More so of DH being sick since the last week of April and up until now, us being financially broke with no savings or extra pennies in our pocket.

But despite of all the negativity, I am still full of hope… I just couldn’t stand and watch everything fall down on us. Despite things not going the way we want it to be, I am still holding on to God and to the three important people in my life. My family… They need me as much as I needed them.

Positive Attitude

Balancing my time between my online and offline activities is quite a struggle at times. There are times that some things won’t go in my way and get unfavorable results no matter how I try keep things in order. Household chores, office tasks, mommy duties, online tasks, sometimes they come in all at the same time and I just couldn’t handle the pressure that comes with it and my mood was badly affected that I oftentimes get angry at the slightest things that seems to be a conflict. I guess I need to enroll myself to further study a Houston Anger Management and avoid getting into much to much trouble with such negative attitude. Furthermore, I need to take things slowly and enjoy life as it is, block off negativity and I should entertain positive thoughts more to enhance a good vibes towards a positive attitude. Life is too short to wallow in negativity.  Life is wonderful so we have to face it with happiness.

Blue Days

once again just hit me now… I woke up with a terrible headache, wishing and wanting to just stay home and sleep around till noon but I just can’t. Kids are up and Gabby have exams for today, Need to go to the office and my packed lunch isn’t interesting to eat. I know things will be the same again at the office.. same old routine, tasks… computer… customers…suppliers… some things I no longer enjoy doing… I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way, must be thankful and grateful and I honestly do BUT I just can’t help it but feel this way… I wanted to see things in positive way but the wail of negativity is taking its toll on me today…. I feel low, so damn low…. But I am still hoping, I will be ok… everything will turn out fine… I hope it’s just one of those blues that will soon go away…

When It Rains It Pours!

… and I have experienced it all yesterday, all but misfortunes that is! I just hope that it won’t happen again or I’ll really loose my senses. First, I wasn’t able to grab opps online, and so it means less earning for me. Second, the money that I have long been waiting for might not get into my hands again, before it got reversed and now it seems like slipping again from me. What actually happened is that I asked a favor from my office mate if I could transfer my paypal funds to her account and I’m glad she was very kind to accommodate my request. It took a week to reflect on her account, come yesterday after office hours, she withdrawn the money in a nearby atm machine and I waited outside the atm booth, but to my surprise she told me that the money was eaten up by the atm machine. She immediately filed a complaint and the bank officer told her that it would took 2 days to reflect on her account again. There is nothing we could do but wait, just this morning she told me that the atm got lost, she couldn’t remember how it happened. Can you see how unlucky I am?! I don’t blame her for what happened because I know that nobody wants to engage in a complicated situation. And I was the one who asked the favor from her. She have already reported it and will file a request for a new card and will have to withdraw the money over the counter tomorrow. *crossing my fingers” hope that tomorrow everything will turn out fine. I badly need the money eh.