Category Archives: parenting

3 Tips: Moms With Adult Children

If you have found yourself in this place in life I want to start off by congratulating you because you have done it! You have successfully raised your children too adulthood. Now you either have the house to yourself or you get to peacefully share it with your husband. Whichever it is enjoy it. If you adult child is still living with you maybe you should consider pushing them a little bit hard to move out or building them a guesthouse so you can have the place to yourself. Whatever the scenario here are a few tips on enjoying being a mom with adult children.

1. Cut the Cord

If you are a mom with all adult children its time to cut the cord: its time to push them out of the nest and see if they fly. Adult children like to now and then come back and ask for things. I am not saying that you should never help your adult children but there does need to be boundaries. You need to set boundaries with your children so that they learn to fend for themselves. This might even mean letting them fall on their face a few times and then coming in and helping them pick up the pieces. Your adult children need to be adults and crying to mommy every time something goes wrong just doesn’t cut it. Save your time, energy, and resources to spoil the booties off of your future or maybe present grandchildren.

2. Enjoy

Now that you are free from the daily task of raising children you need to enjoy life! You need to do the things that you never could do because you had children to look after daily. If you enjoy reading, join a book club that meets weekly. If you love to swim join an adult swim team. Whatever it is that you love to do, do it! If you and your husband have always wanted to travel to a specific location, save some money and go. If you want to walk around the house naked then do it! You need to enjoy yourselves. Odds are you only have a few more years until the aches and pains start kicking in (if they haven’t already) therefore you need to make the best out of it.

3. Security System

Remember when we were talking about kicking the children out of the nest. Adult children like to try to sneak in. Adult children think that because they used to live in the house that they can stop by anytime of any day and just bust in. Now if you are going to take me up on walking around the house naked then this is probably something you want to prevent from happening. If you and your husband want to have some alone time (wink wink) you do not want your adult children barging in unannounced. To prevent the above from happening you should purchase a top of the line alarm systems. I found a company called Smith Monitoring that offers the best home security systems and offers some of the best features. Smith Monitoring specializes in Pearland home security.

About The Author: Katie Melendez is a writer for Smith Monitoring. Katie is also a wife, youth mentor, and a health nut. Follow her blogs for all current trends on home, health, and family.

Yelling at Kids

I am one guilty parent. There are times that I would loose my temper and yell at Gabby and Nicco, especially when I am really tired from work. At nights when I would put them to sleep and they wouldn’t want to and they still wanted to play and I on the other hand really wanted to get some rest and call it a night. Very bad mommy behavior I know! My kids being in the age of exploring, Gabby is 5 years old and Nicco is 3, they would really try to get our attention. But they don’t really deserve such kind of response from me, I know being tired, etc is not an excuse to yell. And I am really trying my very best to show them how much I love and care for them.

Children’s need:

  • to feel loved
  • to feel secure
  • to feel safe
  • to feel that they are worthwhile
  • to feel caring limits
  • to feel that they can succeed at some things
  • to feel that they can contribute – be helpful
  • opportunities to explore and try new things.

Family influences

  • Some families are loud. It is a pattern in the family to speak loudly or shout and children who are brought up in this atmosphere get used to the noise and are not likely to be harmed by it (unless the yelling is putdowns, or scary).
  • Sometimes children from these families have trouble at school because they have not learned to respond to directions when they are given more softly.
  • If parents shout at children when they are angry the child can feel the parents’ anger and it can make children fearful.
  • If parents shout at each other, young children may not understand that they are safe and it can be terrifying, especially if one of the parents leaves or gets upset so the children no longer feel safe in the care of the people they trust to look after them.
  • If parents often criticise each other in front of the child it can endanger the child’s security and damage their confidence in themselves – because each parent is part of them as well.
  • If a family is always used to shouting and competing for ‘air-space’ the children may not learn to be good listeners and to allow others a chance to talk.

Getting in First

  • Shouting can be the result of not being able to set a limit early enough before the child has crossed the line where you can’t put up with it anymore.
  • It is important to be able to recognize when you need to stop what is happening before you get to this line.
  • As soon as you feel that this is happening you need to stop whatever you are doing and the children are doing, and do something that will help change the pace eg:
    • sit everyone down and make a drink
    • watch a video
    • read a favourite story or play it on a tape
    • play a favourite, not-too-exciting game
    • get outside eg take everyone for a walk.

Other things parents can do

  • Let children know often that you love them and that you like them and you are proud of them, to make up for the occasional times when you may say damaging things.
  • Let children know that mistakes are important because they are a way of learning.
  • Encourage children to try.
  • Let children know that you value their help.
  • If you are naturally loud and yell a lot explain to your children that that is the way you talk and you are not angry with them.
  • If you are angry with your partner try to sort it out away from the children.
  • If you are angry with the children take a few minutes or as long as you need before you tell them – have cup of coffee, play some music, go for a walk or whatever helps you to calm down.
  • If you do shout, try to make sure you do not say things that are harmful to children or put them down.
  • If you do shout a lot, your children are likely to shout too. They are copying you, not trying to “get at” you.
  • Talk about what you would like rather than blame or threaten – eg “I want you to help me pick up the toys”. (See the topic ‘Discipline – what is discipline?).
  • Listen to yourself – to what you say and to how you say it.
  • If things are getting on top of you and you are feeling angry a lot of the time, get some support, either from your partner or a good friend or a counselor.
  • Remember that what you do occasionally is not what harms children, it is what goes on most of the time. If most of the time your relationship is good, that is what will count.
Source: here

 

I am Samith Jhon a content writer and a Professional Blogger.  I am certified with LX0-102 Test Questions which is very popular these days and have a great scope in the field of IT Certification. I always like to take certification Test Questions and now I have planned to pass PK0-003 Test Questions. These kinds of  Exam Questions could secure your future as well as your job.