I know, it has been weeks of silence here. Too many things have caught me offline. Some things I would not go into details anymore because it is really heart breaking and must be left unsaid. All I could say is that I’ve been to my lowest again. I was able to function being “normal” despite the hardest ordeal that I’ve been through, or I must say “we”.

Confusion. I was at the verge of giving things up without any prior thinking of what would be the outcome of my decision. I just want to get out of the situation. I am tired. bored. restless… Heading to nowhere.

Sick. More than being physically exhausted, I just couldn’t think straight and arrive at a wise decision.

Scared. To death that is. More so of DH being sick since the last week of April and up until now, us being financially broke with no savings or extra pennies in our pocket.

But despite of all the negativity, I am still full of hope… I just couldn’t stand and watch everything fall down on us. Despite things not going the way we want it to be, I am still holding on to God and to the three important people in my life. My family… They need me as much as I needed them.