I know it’s been awhile, things got screwed up on my mind that I couldn’t gather the thoughts and put it in writing. It usually happens most of the time that whenever I wanted to share something, be it a happy or sad experience of my day to day activities some are left unwritten no matter how I really wanted t sit down and tap the thoughts down to this blog.
So where have I been the past days?! I am just around, still online most of the time but not as productive as before on my online tasks. Oh well, I am just trying to take things slow as I am already quite stressed out with some of my offline activities- work, family, mommy duties in which I always feel guilty because I know that I haven’t given the kids an ample time to be with them, be it on school related things such as helping them out with their assignments and projects, or just simply by hanging around with them. It’s either I am in front of the PC while they play or I am busy with household chores and can’t attend to some of their simple request like to read a book or play with them.
I am still struggling to become a better mom for them as I know that having proper guidance and love for them is one of the strongest foundation for them to grow up and become a mature and independent person. There’s this quite fear in me and hope that they will be able to surpass life’s challenges ahead of them as they grow up. I know I sound sentimental here but that’s how I really feel and I just need to release and clear my mind off with doubts and fears.
There are times that I want to resign and leave my work right there and then, only to realize that I just couldn’t at the time being as expenses are piling, bills to pay are waiting and we need some food on the table. Sometimes I want to complain but often times I am enlightened to see the good things out of the worst. I can only feel at peace at prayers and how God answers me at the most unexpected times. I couldn’t feel but be grateful to God that he is always there and never fails me, especially during the lowest point of my life.